Sex & The Chocolate City – Entry #8

I’ll be moving on…

I needed a break from the cold weather and stress so I flew down to Miami for a little sun and relaxation. Ok, I’m lying, I flew down here to get away from EVERYONE and mourn the end of my relationship in peace. My ex and I broke up in October but with everything going I didn’t have the time to properly get over it and move on. The issue was, I didn’t want to move on. It was almost as if I pretend we never broke up in the first place. It took me weeks to even tell my family about it or call him my ex. I guess I just never wanted to admit to myself that it was truly over. Now two weeks away from New York, I feel 100% better, rejuvenated, and complete ok with it being over. I know everyone doesn’t have two weeks or even two days to get away from it all, so here’s some helpful hints to get on with your life:

  1. Delete Everything: I mean it. Delete emails, numbers, unfollow on Twitter, and de-friend on facebook. The less you see you ex-boo’s name the better you’ll be.
  2. Beware of drunk dialing: If you’re not ready to delete your ex-boo’s name from your phone, consider this. Replace his number with your best girlfriend’s number. That way if you “accidentally” dial him while your sloshed, you’ll be calling your girl instead saving you the embarrassment.
  3. Ex-Cleaning: Clean your place so nothing reminds you of your ex-boo. Wash your sheets if they still smell like him, take down pictures, move any clothes he bought you to the back of the closet so you won’t see them, but most importantly, anything that’s his, either mail it back to him or give it to good will to avoid temping voodoo.
  4. Take a Staycation: Rent movies, buy a few new books, order in food and camp out on Isle de Bed.
  5. Take on a new project: Write a book, paint, or volunteer. Anything that’s NOT something you would do with your ex.
  6. Hang out the most Unromantic Places: Think Old Folks home. The smell alone should set you straight.
  7. Find a Temporary Boo: As the old saying goes, sometimes it takes a new guy to get over the old guy. But if you’re still in the breakup phase, it’s not a good idea to jump back into a new relationship. Enter The Temp Boo. He should gorgeous, have some type of accent, and be completely opposite of everything your ex-boo was. I suggest a nice Cuban or Jamaican. (I don’t condone using men, but in this day and age, all bets are off).

TDJ

(Editors note: yeah…at this point I’d like to note that the thoughts and views expressed in the Sex & The Chocolate City column are not necessarily the thoughts and views of the entire site…i.e. number “7”…ahem…)


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2 Comments

  1. Child I ALWAYS delete… but how ’bout I deleted the last dude on FB and he was a bit of a pu**y about it and complained to a mutual acquaintance that I deleted him? Um, hello… YOU ended it with ME. Why would I want to be your friend on FB? smh Some people, I swear…

    Good tips, btw, and I’m glad for you that you were able to get away from the city and get rejuvenated 😀

    • Thanks! and LOL at the Editors notes!


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