*Zoloft Files Edition* Hot 16…Or More…LOSER OF LOVE

Day 7 folks.

This was a song that I released last year on it’s own on myspace (Damn, even saying it sounds played out) for Valentine’s day. It was a part of a three song special I did dealing with relationships. The other song was an ode to 2pac’s style of making girl -songs (Or as he would say, “for the bitches”). And the other song, aptly titled, “The Bitch” was about a certain carribean chic I was dealing with, who drove me to edge of  patience with her intimacy issues and anger management problems.

Back then, this song was only called “Luv”, because it finds me having a conversation with the personification of Love itself, going over my unstable history with it, and my inevitable side-eye towards it. This track is filled with imagery, and all kinds of nods, from New edition and Grey’s Anatomy references and allusions to Iceman (Bobby Drake).

It was the homegirl Toni-Ann‘s favorite song from me last year and she showed lots of love for “Luv”.

Now it’s the sister song to track 3, “Lover of Love”,  a contrast to my seeming infatuation with it and addiction to the newness of it. It’s also now my team, Naima & Mike‘s favorite song that I’ve EVER done (which is quite insulting, but I’ll take it for now…).

So much so that the boy Mike took it upon himself to do an animation of My Zoloft Files mixtape cover along with the track. So watch it, or listen to it and read the lyrics – whatever you can manage simultaneously!

Love,

you might wanna sit down for this one…

…lot I gotta get out with this one

– Off my chest…

(Gasp)

Almost lost my breath,

cause God took a rib out for this love.

Word to Adam

You ain’t gotta spit – nah, just listen,

I ain’t ’bout to flip out – no bitchin’,

Just words and chattin’…

‘mano y mano’ – I know,

I can’t say man-to-man,

it’s more like man-to-man’s affliction.

Sorry to call you that,

but  plenty aliases in your file – and they’re all attached,

been plenty failed attempts to throw you down and they’ve fallen flat,

ain’t even give you a number to dial and you callin back ..

somehow on my line…

I’m like ‘get out my mind!’,

your reply is you live more inside of my heart – don’t start!

Talkin’ bout some muscle in the breast

cause that’s the same muscle – got me stressed.

And homey my Anatomy ain’t Grey – except that matter in my brain,

that tell me that’s okay, if I feel mad and pretty jaded.

Sangers wanna sang those,

happy songs and rainbows,

-You in Living Color – I’m okay with givin shade, so…

if Black is the absence,

then in your absence,

I treat not having you like the whole month of February

And celebrate my Blackness,

cause I’mma stay Black everyday!

Tho’ that’s a bad practice that perhaps can,

eat away at your soul – I’ll act as if I ain’t phased,

and no, that Blackness ain’t a void,

it’s just that I’m annoyed with the habit of having you in the way…

Every time happiness happens,

make me wanna do backflips – dammit!

You have a way…

Of,

tippin’ the axis,

that bright light flash gets, snatched!

That quick, so back to Black’s where I’m gonna Fade

(Fade)

Stevie said If It’s Magic, then let it be everlasting’

– awww dammit!

There I go again,

Brandon told me if  I rap too fast then,

the people probably, gonna skip right past it – well please!

By all means,

smooth it out,

Cause New Edition warned me,

To Cool It Now

(“oohh, watch out!“)

Before I lose, control

but you responsible for the blues, the woes

The high divorce rates, court dates and court shows,

…can’t explain that Love, huh? I thought so!

I fought so hard to get to know you as a teen,

couldn’t get a girl – but had a dream.

Once I got the girls – I couldn’t lean…

Haven’t been alone since – so to be alone is bad to me.

I know it’s bad to keep a chic around for the sake of it,

her waking up naked with me, ain’t the same as it being you

That me and her is making an‘ – basking in the glow of – but,

you’ve been kinda tainted ever since I’ve grown up.

And now that I’m older – there’s an empty feeling,

-cause you made the women colder,

and less revealing.

They won’t op-en up to you

So how could they get close to me??! Woe is me!

And if they too young, they don’t know a thing!

If they my age, they got baggage, holdin 3,

or 4 bags at a time – they shoulders deep,

in what the last man did – they shoulders keep…

Big Chips, like Texas Hold ‘Em – Freeze!

Probably make, a nigga turn to Bobby Drake over these…

Cold-shoulder breezes – turned to shrugs

-Love!

let’s  do a  review of all the things you’ve shown to me…

Heartbreaks,

-I’m no Kanye, but I’ll take my chances,

and pass if this is sposed to be…

LOVE…”

Hope you learned something…

Click the picture of the mixtape cover to download it.

Love me!

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1 Comment

  1. The craziest part of this song was how you flipped that you would rather celebrate Black History Month because of your discouragement with Valentines Day. I thought it was clever and deep. Haha


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