*Zoloft Files Edition* Hot 16…Or More…BLACK

It’s only right for Black History Month. This one speaks for itself…


I said before that that’s the color in me…

It’s in my aura – everything begins B



no Sephora, Kenneth Cole or Ralph Lauren can scent me.

It’s how I feel towards Love – it’s skin deep,

Feel like I’m Black-balled in this industry…


Black is the

Color of my True Love’s hair;

Black Sister.

Black In America

Straight off the backs of the slaves they brought back and forth – Black ships to carry them.

Black in the Era of…

Paper from rap,

all it takes is a smash, to have Black kids delirious.


Dark as you like – Black Starry Night,


Apart of the life – marches and riots,


Apologize for what I look like (Ha!)


Pardon my sight – if ya’ll don’t like

I’m Black!

Yeah, my father always taught me to be proud of that,

Say it near, say it clear – say it loud in fact…

Buy Black, Black Owned – living life as if,

everyday’s a Black-Tie Affair – how fly is that?

Black Monday,

to Black Friday

Black Market to Crash market – son I make:

Black money, Black moneyBlack Enterprise,

Blackmail meBlack-Belt’ll Black a nigga’s eye!


Black males be hypnotized,

by the Blacktail – but it’s Black beauty who gets to ride!

Like the Hornet, but it’s more like Black fist attire…

Black leather, Black Gloves – no Simpson – just


Like outer space, all on my face,


as the abyss or in a cave,


the absence of color, or just the sum of it


Black as the MotherlandBlack Republicans!


Chicken & grits, video chics – that’s


Hispanic freinds, who won’t admit they are


Africans and Carribeans, who are Black!

Who HATE to be called Americans – cause Black

…Is the worst thing to ever be!


be the only peeps who lost EVERYTHING!

So I let the ink drip, and it channels;

the hue of my mood,

like the end of The Sopranos


Hope you learned something…

Click the picture of the mixtape cover below to download it.

CotDammit John Mayer….

I won’t post the interview or it’s excerpts up, because by now, you’ll be able to catch the most “inflammatory” parts all over the web.

I will, however

show you the source where you can read the interview in it’s entirety.


Now I am a John Mayer fan.

But I have also heard the infamous tales of him being a Grade A asshole in real life. This sentiment was recently reiterated by the homegirls Seshie and Morgan, who also follow him on twitter.

I also have picked up on his penchant for overt sarcasm and colorful commentary over the past few years. So I’m not sure exactly how “inflammatory” these “inflammatory” comments are…

It could just fall in line with every other off-brand statement he’s made to the press.

In this interview, he ruffles plenty of feathers, including Jessica Simpson’s (but wait! feathers?.. Is she chicken?or Fish?), but I wonder, is this just another case of Black people being too sensitive for all of the wrong reasons? I’m just waiting for Al Sharpton to pop out somewhere tomorrow, seeing as to how he only comes out for these menial situations.

If we’ve paid attention to Mayer’s M.O. by now, why would we be surprised by anything outlandish that he says? Obviously, if you look at what he’s saying in full, he’s very aware of his perception and the perception of him. He’s also very aware of what he’s saying. Now the real question here, was did he not anticipate the feeble-mindedness of the average reader – or the domino effect that controversial hearsay would have upon feedback from this interview? Did he even realize that this interview would reach the public so widely? Like, did he not realize that this was an interview in PLAYBOY fuckin magazine??! America’s Guilty pleasure? Or did he just assume that of course, only intellectual people actually READ the articles in Playboy as opposed to just staring at the landing strips on the centerfolds, and therefore, anyone with that level of logical reasoning wouldn’t take his remarks out of context nor take offense to them?

The even bigger question is, Did he really even give a fuck??! And does he have to?

We accept crazy talk from personalities that we deem as brash and extreme, but when it comes from our tamer idols, we get up in arms. Nelly can testify to this. Luke can have girls on video eating each other out, and then make a song about it, but don’t let it be the guy who made “Dillema”. Andrew Dice Clay can be as coarse as can be, but if it’s our favorite emo-guitar guy that the rappers like….it’s OVER.

Well maybe John wants to be like those guys who get away with that shit. Maybe he looks like he’s in league with Michael Buble, but he feels more like O.D.B. inside. And I’m not condoning any of this, I’m just trying to put it in another perspective of understanding. Maybe he just didn’t give a fuck! He just wanted to tell you how much Jessica Simpson is a hot piece of ass, how Black women don’t do it for him, and how much he acknowledges that he has a “hood pass”, but not an official hood pass because he still can’t get away with saying stuff like the word Nigger. And just to test the waters, he’s going to use the word Nigger just to show you how much that hood pass doesn’t really exist after all.

And you all just proved him right because I’m sure plenty of you will refuse to support him any longer and snatch that pass right back!

I for one, Love when people are this honest because they tell you who they really are. At least you know where he stands.  It’s what keeps you hanging off of every word in a 50 Cent interview. Or the latest Kanye Rant. For an artist of John’s stature, this interview is a publicists’ nightmare. But for an artist of John’s stature, maybe it’s kind of dope that he broke the rules.

True, he should know better. he’s a smart dude. But the only place he fucked up was by actually using the full out N word and not using softer language to get his points across. I’ve come to the conclusion that every White person in the world has or will say Nigger at least once in their lives…if for no other reason than just to see how it feels to say it. You try being told that there’s one word in your entire lifetime that you’re never allowed to say…see where the Pandora’s Box of your mind takes you!

I personally am more offended by the white folk who use it casually and think nothing of it because some Black people in their lives have allowed them to continually repeat it.

But in this case, he’s being very cognizant of the African-American demographic, and if anything, he’s admitting to a character flaw within himself. He’s telling you that he would like to, but up until this point in his life, hasn’t found himself sexually attracted to Black women. Honest enough. Would I be a reverse racist when I state that Iam not sexually attracted to White women? Because Iam not, on average.

I’m like him in a way…..

due to the fact that I love women to the extreme that I do, I do find the beauty in all sexy women of all shades and races, But I know my first preference always has and always will be Black women!

I try to tell people all the time, that the biggest part of attraction is psychological. Alot is based on what we’re exposed to and how we’ve taken in ideas of beauty throughout the courses of our lives. Once we accept that, we’ll realize that there’s not some magic key that we’re born with that tells us who to date and mate with.

But nevermind all of that, let me end this post with the apology…

cause that’s what you want anyway isn’t it?

“using the ‘N word’ in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it’s such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged.

And while I’m using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it’s time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews… It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it.

Again, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.”

I do want to give John his props tho, for shouting out Kerry Washington (I agree, she seems to have white girl swag where it counts), and for even KNOWING who Holly Robinson-Peete is! Not too many Black guys remember or acknowledge her, let alone some random whiteboy. Maybe he watched alot of 21 Jumpstreet reruns back in the day. She was and still is pretty damn hot! And her charity involvements rock!

And to close it out, why not leave you crazy kids with an Apropo ditty?

What The Hell is The Eye Bank of NY??

If you live or have visited New York City recently and have had the Joy of riding our Splendid Mass Transit system (like I had the pleasure of doing this past monday, and am silently protesting doing, even when this ridiculous weather warms up – I hate it!),

then you’ve probably seen one of these soft but strikingly eerie ads from the Eye Bank of New York.

I’ve seen these ads for about a year now, and the same question kept bugging me;

What the Hell are they talking about, “the gift of sight”?

I’ve been meaning to research this since the first day I saw the advertisement with Jerry Orbach.  I dragged my feet and found myself asking the randomest people the randomest questions, like…‘does this mean they take eyeballs and transplant them?’

All to the reception of shoulder shrugs and temple scratches.

Most people have never paid attention to these ads that seemed to have crept out of nowhere around the City, but even more than that, they cannot begin to fathom how this particular organ donation would go down. It’s funny tho, to watch people surmise what part does what and how it gets utilized.

I myself had 80 million questions spinning in my head up until this very minute.

I wondered, how long after someone is dead can an eye be good? And how are optic nerves reconnected? Aren’t eyeballs directly connected to the brain? And who the Hell needs a whole eyeball replaced anyway?? Are these for functional transplants? Or cosmetic ones for people who have suffered the misfortune of facial disfigurement or loss of a face entirely like that crazy story of the lady being attacked by the chimp (which the thought of alone just sends a wave of sadness over me and makes me cringe).

My favorite question asked thus far is one posed not by me, but by one of the random persons whose attention I brought this to;

‘would you be able to tell if it’s someone else’s eyes if they’ve been transplanted, being that they are the windows to the soul?’

I probably paraphrased that so horribly, but you get the point.

So, after all this…I FINALLY go directly to the site and what do I find out??


The site is apparently jacked up. You can only access the media links and donation windows. I found not one piece of information on this madness! For all of it’s fancy navigation bars and info titles, not one of them take yo anywhere – not even the “About us” tag. Maybe it’s my computer (I am a PC after all…), but I felt some way about this…

Luckily, thanks to the good people of Anwsers.com and the Columbia Encyclopedia,

I was able to quench my thirst for knowledge with this small passage.

Hope those of you who were curious too get something out of it. All 3 of you….

“eye bank, site for the collection, processing, and assignment of donated eyes. A donor’s eyes are removed as soon as possible after death, sealed in a sterile container, and sent to the eye bank. There they are microscopically examined for corneal damage and then shipped to surgeons who have requested them. The intact eyes, if kept at a temperature of 4°C, may be preserved up to 48 hours. Subsequently, the corneas (the clear coverings of the eye) can be removed, preserved in glycerin, and stored at room temperature for six to eight months. Corneal transplants may restore vision to persons whose own corneas have become scarred through illness or injury. If free of bacteria, the vitreous humor, the fluid filling at the back of the eye, can be refrigerated and kept up to six months; it is used in the treatment of detached retina. The first eye bank in the United States, Eye-Bank for Sight Restoration, Inc., was founded in New York City in 1945.”

Here’s the complete link to this: http://www.answers.com/topic/eye-bank

And if you are actually interested in becoming a donor, her is the link to that site:


*Zoloft Files Edition* Hot 16…Or More…OCTOBER

October 22nd,

the month I was born. You’ve Never met a rapper more proud of being Born in said month or of being a Libra.

This is my mission statement.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did making it.

“Winter Spring and Summer put on Nice shows,

But when the breeze came, then I put on my coat,

and when the leaves change – that’s the way that I know,


I’m Home

Born into the fall – will I fall? I feel like I have,

Fallin – if I fall – hope it’s forward, and never back.

Brought some more time for him to crawl up – back on his path,

My aura’s always been Orange – also a little Black.

Halloween tinted,

No tricks or treats with it,

-nah – just me and Lenox, Edgecombe and St.Nicholas

– in the crazy 80’s

facing the epidemics,

-cooked cocaine babies…

make believe corner-chemists.

The first day I breathed – 22nd,

weighed me in the same way that them dealers was weighing they crack to sell…

…So here comes baby me – made to be, something special,

-parents made a Libra,

so yeah, I know I about them scales.

I understand the Balance,

but couldn’t stand the boundaries surrounding,

I promised myself, I’d fly out ’em.

But I was more Daedalus than Pegasus,

Dad had made us wings,

but the sun had done away with them.

So back on concrete I created this,

virtual escape with this,

trend that had came in with the kids who was breakin’ an,

kids with tin cans on subways spraying names with them,

Disco DJ’s began scratching – something happened called rapping and it caved me in!

Suddenly became the win,

wings couldn’t work last time – but rhymes gave me wind!

So I couldn’t fly,

just glide…

but that was just fine, cause it took me outside…

Of my life, and the chaos out-right,

-if at least for a minute, that’s enough to buy time.

Now I was introduced to comic books,

same time rhyming shook, the world – so as a 5-year old – I just put…

The 2 in same place…

Cause to me,

Professor X and KRS had the same face!

Their goals were the same, basically:

Stop The Violence,

Use all their natural powers,

naturally I was…

Drawn to it – hopin’ I could, actually try ta,

join the X-Men or De La, or Stetsasonic,

When I get,


and grow up in the mold of – a superhero, who’s blown up on a poster – since…

Being a rapper’s the closest…

Thing to being larger than life – with the exposure…

You can really touch people’s life – in the tone of,

– a whole song…

In a positive light,

Tho’ we know the,

negative is always in sight,

My Persona…

Would be a product of my,

very own month,

It’s funny how the Fall takes life,

just to grow some,

then it brings an earlier night,

like there’s no sun,

then it change the temperature slight,

a little colder,

but then you get to dress up the flyest,

So here’s my Ode ta,

the part of year that’s my favorite time,

when the old does,

away to make room for the new…


Hope you learned something…

Click the picture of the mixtape cover to download it.

*Zoloft Files Edition* Hot 16…Or More…AMETHYST HAIL (THE RAIN)


Let’s start Volume 2 and Day 9 of The Zoloft Files off with a bang!

This is Track 1 off of Volume 2 and my 2nd Favorite song off of this collection.

It just sets the tone for the whole project, and while it mirrors the sentiments of the 1st track off of Volume 1, “Death Of A Salesman”, it is waaay less intense and particular. It’s actually more telling of the entire mood in which I was in while making this mixtape. It’s bigger than Hip-hop! For real!

Thanks to 9th Wonder for making this beat available for me to dance all over!

Get your umbrellas,




It’s no stones in my cloud!!


them stones coming down:

Amethyst Hail, violet and round

It violently drowns,

the skylight is loud,

the stifling sound of…

Purple Rain – feel like Twilight right now.

But it’s broad day,

it feels like it al-ways,

rains on me…

Personal storm cloud Halo adorns me.

The weather man warned me,

‘it’s gon’ rain!’


-but my attitude was pitter-patter

-like I got my own private Seattle,

blame it on the elevation,

tried to get high off life,

but that precipitation -had something in mind more like…

Final Destination,

Pickett fences visions – went the way of wicked witches.

And they get wet, decay – melt away,

and the drips against the window pane – paints the picture of the fix I’m in cause…

My life is condescending,

I breathe into the glass,

-and write ‘SignMe!’ with my index finger – hopin you pass…

And do just what the fog just said,

Nah! This far from Charlotte’s Web,

no subliminal advertising can hope to market him.

No lighting in a bottle,

just the quiet of the storm,

silent thunder can describe his hunger, cause it’s quite as strong.

But if it’s unheard,

how can they put you on, like a ponch?

Tried to launch my career,

and turn into The Swan

– from the Ugly Duckling,

-stuck here in this muddy rut that,

-that they call comin up and bubblin,


I’ve been up and comin’,

-for an uncomfortably fuckin long time…

And the fault’s mine,

cause I ain’t listen to the forecast,

I saw sunshine.

When it was obviously cummulus,

-now it’s gotta be hubris cause, to think you gonna see son shine,

is comically humurous!

But I’m so serious,

sure there’s a chance in Hell,

I’m only happy when it rains,

I’m so Shirley Manson – Hell!

Or high-water,

my water’s – eyewater,

if there’s a flood inside,

then I’m Noah,

and the Ark is my Art!

And this rain is Acid,

and this pain, has come with disdain and made it vapid,

-like to make it evap-orate,

-but it can torment you…

But how long?

Cause the downpour has been torrential,

on this instrumental – it’s The Rain,

the rain, the rain…”

Hope you learned something…

Click The picture of the mixtape cover to download it FREE.

Sex & The Chocolate City – Entry #11

Young Cougars

I am twenty-seven and a half years old but on some days, I look like I’m no older than nineteen. (I’m not tooting my own horn here, this is the truth.) Looking this young, isn’t always a good thing when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Some men will steer clear of me, worried about being the next R. Kelly, leaving only the young bucks left to holla at me. When I say young, I mean twenty-two and below. As far as maturity is concerned, that’s light years away from my age. It’s also down right embarrassing when high school boys try to get my number on the train then look shellshock when I tell them my age.

About a week ago, this guy, age twenty-one, asked me for my number. He was adorable, sweet, funny, and seemed rather mature for someone who was still in college. I kept asking myself “What am I doing” considering his age, but he was pretty persistent, I was flattered. And afterwards, all I could do is laugh at my over thinking of such a small event. It’s not like I’m Stella looking to get my groove back but we’re not even in the same demographic. There are twenty-five and older parties he wouldn’t be able to attend. He wouldn’t even be able to rent a car!

I’ve toyed around with the idea of dating a younger man before. But even dating guys that are only two years younger than me have been disastrous. I’ve seen some of my friends do it with relatively good results. Some only want younger boys men, so they can “train” them at an early age to be what they want them to be. I call them young cougars in training.

My girlfriend met a young buck at a party. He was twenty-three, she was twenty-eight.

He called and text no less than four times a day (mind you he didn’t have a job, so he had nothing else better to do). He would show up at her house uninvited on numerous occasions and tried to commandeer all of her time. Now I know what you’re thinking, so what, any guy of any age could do that. But my friend was a successful professional with her own car and condo. This particular dude wanted her to wear his class ring even though they only knew each other for three weeks and still live at home with his Momma, who did his laundry and made him lunch everyday.

As for me, I just don’t think I can do it. Men around that age have so much growing up to do. I’ve had to deal with growing with men, accompanied by heartbreak and utter confusion for the last decade of my dating life. Why would I put myself through the ringer again?  When you’re in your early twenties, you’re so confident, almost cocky, when it comes to what you want because you’re so sure. But honestly, no one really knows what they want or need at that time. There are forty year old women who still don’t have it together.

But, I am almost thirty. I suppose robbing cradles will be in my future soon enough.


No Further ADU!

The Queen.

I told you I was going to do this post!

Welcome again to my favorite segment of this site.

My Love affair with Helen FolaSade Adu is a bit deeper than a crush admittedly.

She is so unaffected that it’s alluring.

Her detached, otherworldly demeanor is apart of her mystique.

The Original MILF, she made 40, put 20 -somethings to shame when she re-emerged after the first of her 2 Ten year hiatuses. Her model-esque features, golden skintone and the Goddess-like air about her are what makes her something almost dreamy. There may also be alot to be said for the whole Euro thing and the knowledge that she is directly from the continent of Africa. African women have this Beauty that seems to stem from the face more than anywhere else, and European women have this sexual appeal that is hard to define.

Now, I’m in no position to harp on forehead sizes, so I won’t touch on the much mentioned subject that still remains the ONE thing that people come up with when they’re looking for a flaw in Ms. Adu, but I dare you to find another.

I can say that, just like my last Crush Alot entry, Tatyana M. Ali, Sade is severely affected by the Jungle Fever bug to the point that I don’t think there’s ever been a Black man in the public records of her lovelife. But a guy can dream right?

This may be the shortest Crush Alot entry I’ve done because there’s not much more that I can tell you about her that you don’t already know or haven’t already heard.

Like I mentioned before in a previous blog,

Black men seemingly have this Oedipus Complex with Sade.

It’s a tricky web of respect and regale, mixed with the desire to be with, an appreciation for the total package of her beauty and the secret lust to just want to see the freak behind the mysterious glare.

True enough,

Sade is obviously fully aware and in control of her seductiveness. But, perhaps this being a sign of age or class, unlike the Beyonce’s of our time, she puts it in your face, without you even realizing it. It’s in her eyes. Her poses. The profile she strikes or the hypnotism of her graceful movements. Something is to be said about the woman who can make love to the camera. And hers is especially dangerous because it’s far from blatant. In fact, it’s very controlled and understated. It builds the imagination. But yet agin, there’s that web

I’ve never had a straight -up sexual thought about Sade. As a matter of fact, in all my times of barber shop and car wash convo, I don’t ever recall hearing any man speak in reference to her in any inappropriate way. Even though we all know in the back of our minds that we’d love to be the guy she takes to bed with her, there’s just this underlying reminder of her Maternal energy. Even before we knew she was leaving the game to drop babies.

Coupled with this mommy-like energy, she has this super-powerful glow to her. A kind of surreal existential charm.

This is only enhanced when married together with her lyrics and voice. I don’t think I’ve ever even heard Sade speak in an interview (But speaking of which, how crazy and awkward is it that she’s going to be on BET’s 106 & Park tonight as a guest performer???! – talk about generation gaps and courtesy claps – I’ll be cringing in a few hours for sure), but her singing voice, while highly debated upon, is the stuff that haunts.


for one,

Love her voice. the Accent and all…

And as an owner of all of her albums, I understand that her words meet the music in places most artists can’t even imagine. They make the songs in conjunction.

Take one of my favorites,

“Couldn’t Love You More”

Even her humming & adlibing is perfectly placed and moves the songs where they’re supposed to be moved.

Here’s a boatload of my favorite songs and videos of hers. Why not??

(If you recognize the Bassline of this song, then you may be old enough to remember that the Late Teddy Pendergrass made a small Comeback hit in the early 90’s using a sample of this song. You also know that Sade is one of the hardest groups and artists to sample from).

And 2 of my Favorite videos of all time – EVER!!

Her New album, Soldier Of Love is out today.

To keep up with all the newest and latest with her, check out her site.

And if you’re like me, you are FEENIN’ for a chance to see her perform live. So if any of you out there have any leads, hit me  Please!

And then today, my boy Killa texts me to tell me about some song with her, Erykah Badu & Maino!!


You know I’ll get to the bottom of this…

In the meantime,

nevermind that you are finally looking your age, or the fact that I dated another chic with your name,


You are and always will be,

My Crush!

16’s Candles Presents – Malik-16: The Zoloft Files Volume 2

Click The Picture Above to Download.


After much fuss,

This is the second part of  The Zoloft Files trilogy.

I’d just like to thank all of you who have reached out, given great feedback and shown love.

Especially for not moanin and groanin about the zshare download(Old faithful. Everything else I try always breaks or gets removed – any suggestions?).

This project was totally self-indulgent and not intended to be presented like a conventional mixtape. It was meant to just promote my blog, and be that rare vintage joint that people go back to find after I’ve made my way up. My team was against this whole project from the day I announced it. It was supposed to come out at the beginning of the fall at the same time that my last mixtape, Westside Til I Die came out. I like it this way much better. They do too.

I challenged myself to see how in touch with my old poetic sensibilities I still was. How wide my vocabulary still is and if any of the stuff I learned about rhetorical devices from all of those years of specialized english classes still held through.

After making songs like “Come With Me” and “Give The Drummer Some” (neither of which you probably heard), I felt a void. Yeah, yeah, I know I did the song mocking a bunch of rappers’ voices, and I can rap about myself, and Harlem and getting “signed” all day, but I didn’t feel like I touched on enough of the subjects that were near and dear to my heart. This is the kind of artist that Iam. I need to make songs with substance to feel complete. I wanted to see if I could return to my 1997 instincts. Those days listening to complex rappers with depth and no regard for commercial appeal, like Organized Konfusion, Sunz of Man and The Gza. Yep. Educated Hood-kid rap. Before this Kid Cudi shit that sparked with all of this emotional yadda yadda…

But I guess I should thank Scott Mescudi in a way. He and his peers of the new wave have opened the doors (and ears) for listeners to be exposed to mood music and  softened the reception of that kind of rap. Thanks to you too Joe Budden! So now, even though I have a tape themed around borderline craziness and the notion of wanting to take one’s own life, it’s not viewed as so crazy in the current rap atmosphere. Besides, otherwise..who would want to hear some rapper who’s not signed, whine and complain?

The playing field is so open right now!

It is unprecedented tho. And that, I will always make sure of. Every last one of my mixtapes have a theme, and even though this mixtape series is a product of a gloomy period of doubt and unhappiness in my life, I still wouldn’t let it be an unappealing piece of crap that isn’t a valued edition to my catalogue. It’s the last mixtape bearing the whole “Somebody Sign me!” slogan.

And don’t expect the 3rd one anytime soon. I’m keeping that on deck for later…

This was cathartic for me. Something birthed from being Jaded by this underground and unsigned community of rappers and the journalists and bloggers who praise them and play others. Something initiated by a bad break-up with an Ivy league Ex-Model. Something spurned by my official entrance into my Late 20’s, and of course, that challenge I threw at myself.

Having that said, I never expected it to get posted up by other people on twitter, nor on 2Dopeboyz.com, or anywhere else for that matter.

Thank you guys for listening to me rant for these last 8 days.

let’s make these next 8 even better!

This Volume might be a little Darker, with one long song at the end, but I think you’ll Love it just as much.

And with no further adiue,

I give you:

The Zoloft Files Volume 2

Click the picture below to download.

*Zoloft Files Edition* Hot 16…Or More…ALL SAID AND DONE

For the Last Day of The Zoloft Files Volume 1 installments of Hot 16…Or More…,

I present you with my favorite song off of the Collection…

This song, much like this entire project, was a personal test. I wanted to see if I had it in me to really speak about the event of my own death. As we’ve learned from so many death-fixated artists, especially rappers…thoughts are things!

As a firm believer that one creates one’s own reality in a day-to day sense, I took issue with the idea of making a ‘if I should die’ song. But I was always impressed by guys like Biggie and 2Pac’s ability to paint that posthumous picture. And after I heard someone like Joe Buddden, who hasn’t even reached their level of hysteria or legend-hood, make a song like that, over Tony Toni Tone’s “Anniversary”, I knew I was going to do one of my own. I thought,  it’s a clever idea to leave behind a somewhat instructional how-to for the people in your life in the unforeseen instance of untimely passing.  And the subject matter fell right in line with the tone of this project.

Don’t think of this as a gloomy song at all. It’s a celebration of the life I plan to lead, as well as the life I’ve lead.

I also swore not to make another of these, so you might wanna download this mixtape now, save this and refer to this if anythings happens. And really listen to this cause this is REALLY how I want it to go down. If you know me, then you know me and my award show- watching ass likes things to be organized and classy. Don’t hood out my going out!!!

You’ll get one more of these kinds of songs, but only on an original beat on one of my critically acclaimed albums at some point in my career. That’s it!

And with that,  I give you verses 1 & 2. Let’s go…

“At my funeral,

please wear something Orange,

Carry me down the streets, like New Orleans.

Make sure you play All my favorite songs an,

alot of Stevie, lot of Bob, lot of Marvin,

Ya’ll know me – it’s gotta be alot of Pac mixed!

Cause Pac is the reason I put Heart in, what I spit – but Pac embodies how it all can,


before it,

ever really started,

all that talkin’ bout Fate Callin…

So I made a promise:

Not to write about Death,

cause that’s how we lost some of the Best!

It’s true: Words are power,

and you are what you eat,

so I’m Louder!

And trade the sour for the sweet.

But right now I’m…

Constantly on the brink

Suddenly and quite Uncomfortably,

I wonder…

(‘what it means’)

When your body’s underneath,

can 6 feet measure how deep, a life is?

And life is so short,

find you never really had the time to go sort…

everything out…

So if I ever leave files of my unfinished work laying ’round

-mix everything down!

Remaster – better sound – rehash it, Put everything out – make mash-ups!

Please sell Malik out!

Til everybody catch up, and tell they peeps how:

I made classics

Big Lrepeat style…

…They just gettin’ lines from me right nowyears after!

…Be a household name…

Rather leave early, than live out old man

be in house,

old cane,

I V out old veins,

-can’t eat-walk-sleep-talk, without no pain!

I don’t want no nurses,

no house doctors,

if I’m in that much hurt!

I’ll put me out of my misery

And I pray that my child does, the same…

Pull the plug if it comes down ta

the choice

This might be the end for me physically,

– but with infamy – I’ll finally get to be,

with my dreams


I made a promise not to write about life,

unless I made my own worthwhile

So here on Earth now

I’mma leave my imprint!

Carbon footprint from big steps

– Giant leaps…

Tryin’a be ahead of my time, cause when you’re further – you live on when you die…

(what it means)

That’s the 16 Million-dollar question,

guess it makes sense when it’s Peace that you Rest In.

So Please,

No Heaven, No Hell,

if you know best, then don’t tell!

– I mean Heaven would be dope!

But I don’t wanna believe it’s so,

Cause if I believe in Up!

I must believe in below

So I figure it evens out,

not to count on, one or another – and not discover…

I just hope it’s all Black! at the curtain call,

I don’t wanna go back! and reverse it all.

I know energy just circles and returns to source,

don’t reinvent me as a worm with more – dirt to crawl Through!

Just to end up on a fishing hook,


Just re-incarnate a nigga’s books.

Donate my verses for research,

see the poetry between words – and then it should…

Show that in growth – it would seem,

I did Finally know what it means,

to find…”

Hope you learned something…

Click the picture of the mixtape cover to download it.

R.I.P. Big Pun

In memory of Christopher “Big Pun” Rios and his legacy, I just wanted to put up a few of the hits.

Starting with the 2010 update/revisit of the classic Pun track “Glamour Life”, nicely done by the kid AC (Who my sometimes group of Dominicans, The Balance, collabed with last year), Realm Reality (A.K.A. Rick Gonzalez – you know, the kid who starred in Coach Carter and Illegal Tender?), Termanology, and Pun’s son himself, Baby Pun!.

This is my first new favorite song of the year. Shit like this makes me Love rap!

Here’s the trailer from the Pun documentary that came out not too long ago.  We may all want to check this out, if we call ourselves hip-hop fans.

How many hardcore rappers can say they did a joint with J.Lo back in her Grammy-winning days? With no peep of a mention of losing street cred.

And  2 of my favorite joints off of the Capital Punishment album;