A social observation:
What is it about receiving a notification alerting you to the fact that one of your ‘friends’ or followers liked that pointless yet aesthetically pleasing image of you with a full face of make-up on claiming to have just woken up? The widespread use of social networking such as our resident time-waster, Facebook has bred a new kind of interaction with each other and even more astoundingly, a new set of behavioral patterns.
Now, I just used a bunch of words to basically say that the objects posted to our favorite social networking sites have begun to mold and shape our generation’s behavior and interactions and ultimately produced an influx of posers and overall annoying persona. When I log onto my Facebook, Twitter or Instagram account I see several things; each is equally annoying.
The first are the “hustlers.” They’re the ones that sit on Facebook all day long telling us all how much money they’re making and how many haters they’ve acquired as a result of their wealth. Um, okay? I guess they really expect all of us to believe that that diamond encrusted chain down to their naval has any quality gemstones present or that that insane stack of money that they’re ‘weighing up’ was printed by the US Department of Treasury and not their homeboy from around the way. Dude, seriously? We all know that you still live with your parents in your childhood home and that you catch the bus to your part-time job at the mall. You may now have a seat. After all, how much money could you possibly be making when the first thing I see in my newsfeed is you talking about “wake and bake” or posting constantly throughout the day? Perhaps you’ve figured out the secret to success! Then again, highly unlikely.
Next are the musicians or the creative types. Now I know that I have an insane amount of talented friends that are sincerely doing their thing in their respective fields. This section does not apply to any of you however, I can’t be responsible if the shoe fits! Now, where was I? Oh that’s right, the musicians that flood my newsfeed, timeline, and inbox with the promise of new music and a constant show of how much they’re ‘grinding’ in the studio. Newsflash! None of us care! Wanna know why? Because what you’re posting on social networking sites is the extent of your musical career. “Artists” such as yourself come a dime a dozen, constantly shouting about how this year is gonna be your year and a bunch of other cliché hoopla that I haven’t got the time to list in detail. You all are the boys who cried wolf! Even if I like and support your music, the fact that all you do is post statuses about how great you are and how the industry isn’t ready for you merely disengages my interest and causes my mind to subconsciously skip over any post that has your name above it. Sorry ::Kanye Shrug::. Now this doesn’t solely apply to musicians. The same can hold true for the photographers, directors, actors, and models. Don’t even get me started on all the internet ‘models.’ An Instagram filter or a free afternoon with a friend who has an SLR camera doesn’t make you any more of a model than me standing in a garage makes me a Cadillac.
Speaking of the internet ‘models,’ the following breed of annoying social network dwellers are the attention-hungry females. Now we all know the attention-hungry females. The ones who get dressed in their very best, cake on their foundation, paint their lips an unflattering shade of pink, and stencil their eyebrows in seven inches thick. They’ve all got the same weave installed down to their ass, an iPhone, and time to waste. That normally translates into a feed full of the same girls’ fish faces accompanied by hashtags that have nothing to do with nothing. Now, every once in a while, when I’m feeling pretty, I like to show my face on Instagram so I get it. But there’s a certain type of girl that thrives, nay, LIVES for this attention and some are willing to do anything to get it.
The counterpart as well as bread and butter to the attention-hungry female is the even thirstier dude. Thirsty dudes are the ones that lurk on social networking sites awaiting the opportune moment when one of the attention-hungry females posts something that they can pounce on! Here’s an example:
Attention-Hungry Female: Damn, it’s so cold out. I wish I had someone to cuddle with!
Thirsty Male #1: I gotchu, shorty
Thirsty Male #2: You too fine to be over there by yourself freezin’
Thirsty Male #3: Something else to gas her head, I’ve stopped reading at this point so I couldn’t tell you what the rest of the thirsty dudes have to say.
Now, as strange as it may seem, everything that the attention-hungry female does is FOR the thirsty dudes, yet they despise them! A normal sight on a social network is the aforementioned ‘ladies’ (using the term VERY loosely) posting an image of themselves then, not long after, posting a status about how thirsty guys are, or even better, they speak of their woes of why they’re still single. Hmm, I wonder what the correlation is?
The last online offender that I’m going to mention is the Facebook Philosophers. These are the people that post mile-long statuses that no one has the time or attention span to read. These are the folks that feel that they have acquired SO much wisdom that it is their civic duty to impart that wisdom upon us. Now some of what they have to say may speak to some people and inspire others however, I find it rather difficult to embrace life lessons taught by someone who works a deli counter and has yet to realize their own potential and purpose in this life. Now, I’m not saying that someone who works a mediocre part-time job couldn’t have life experiences and lessons to pass on to the rest of us but what I am saying is that they probably shouldn’t be pretending to be the second coming of Socrates. After all, it was Socrates himself who famously stated that “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” Take a page from the book of a real philosopher, humble yourself, and have a seat.
It amazes me to see that the majority of what is posted on these social networking sites is to impress people we don’t know or more famously, people who we “don’t care about what they think” of us. It’s a façade that each of us creates to portray ourselves as what we want people to see us as rather than who we actually are. We’re all guilty of it to some extent and its rather fascinating. I mean, imagine Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter without all of these characters. We’d get sick of all the genuinely cool people and hilarious memes and no one wants that!
I know that I missed a few of our favorite Social Networking characters, feel free to share who or what annoys or even inspires you!
See you folks soon,
The Media Sweetheart <3″