This just in…Black Women are the least attractive??!


After writing a whole drawn out blog post delving into the possibility of Stacey Dash and Kim Kardashian being the most beautiful women in the limelight in modern history, and then exploring the possible sociological and scientific reasons why this may be, here comes the next big stir on the internet to rile Black women up.

There’s now irony in the fact that I pointed out how Dash and Kardashian’s racial ambiguity play a huge part in their appeal and attractiveness across the board. They have safe looks. Looks that are not extreme by most measures, especially in western civilization. Hence there is no threat and a higher level of desire for them from multiple races due to a symmetrical blend of exotic and tame.

Now this article posted and then later removed on a blog connected to PsychologyToday magazine (one of my favorite publications), took a similar route to attempt to answer the question,

Why Are Black Women Rated Less Physically Attractive Than
Other Women, But Black Men Are Rated Better Looking Than
Other Men?
Why black women, but not black men?

Someone was resourceful enough to copy and paste the article before it got removed due to heavy traffic and outstanding response. Read it here;

Using a data assessment scale referred to as “Add Health”, the author made sharp conclusions in statistical and arithmetic language to define the deficiency in attractiveness surrounding women of African descent.

Compiling quantitative information from sources or populations not mentioned, the author, Satoshi Kanazawa notes that Black women are rated “Average” each time, while Black males are generally rated higher. He states that data shows that Black people as a whole tend to view themselves as more attractive to themselves than people of every other race. So then it comes off as a kind of misguided pride. I would love to refute that, but I’ve seen waaaay too many chics who need to be humbled in their opinions of self. Especially in New York. Yet we all know that this may be due to other sociological factors.

Satoshi is almost at a loss to find reason for such results, citing the possibility that African ancestry being the oldest in humanity may have contributed to a sort of genome redefinition and bolstering of testosterone, which creates more masculine features.

The article of course prompted Black folk all over the web to strike back in typical sensitive fashion a la the Don Imus and Slim Thug controversies of late. Twitter and Facebook went abuzz, while Black blog sites like The Root attacked the integrity of the study. Folks have done background checks and Googled the author, stating that he has made a living off of writing about racially controversial topics, and suggesting Asian superiority.

We all know that something so subjective cannot be solely defined by numbers. We all know how Amazing and Beautiful Black women are. In my opinion, they are the best thing on this planet!!! But when you turn to the People and Vanity Fair magazines , how come the only Black women you see are the biracial or racially ambiguous ones? The Halles, Paula Pattons, Alicia Keys‘?? Maybe the token African Models in ads or catwalk stills, but not the Viola Davis‘, the Serenas or the V. Bozemans?

Yes, Black people know how wonderful and dynamic the beauty of Black women is, but why is it that the rest of the world doesn’t seem to?


Why did this ad REALLY Come down??? Maybe this film knows…

So by now, you’ve all seen the ad that has everyone up in arms. Controversial is an understatement. 

While the overall reaction to this ad was one of unanimous disapproval, the subsequent thoughts from the frenzy have been loosely divided. However, that’s only a by-product of the ever polarizing debate on abortion itself.

Whether or not the numbers provided by the organization behind the ad that claimed Blacks are at ridiculously high rates of abortion cases in the country are factual, the real issue here is why Blacks show up in high percentages in these statistics in the first place. Whether that number is 20%, 35% or 63%, as only 12% of the population in the U.S. , with an already high number incarcerated, any number in the double digits should be unacceptable for Blacks. It’s an indication that something is very wrong, as I can assure you that while every woman should have her choice, there is NOTHING ok about abortion.

I’ve read from comments on this that it is another attack on Black women and their right to choose. That it’s an inferiority tactic aimed to make Black women feel insecure and uncomfortable. If you remember from a previous post that I wrote on these so called “Attacks” on African-American women, this is still just pseudo feminist rhetoric that I  don’t get the logic in. Why would this be a desired outcome? What gain comes from this by the evil factions and powers at play? Just mind games? Ehh…

A more grounded and unfortunately grisly view may be the one that this organization horribly attempted to get across with this fuck-up of an ad. This is the view that organizations such as Planned Parenthood target minorities with a form of coaxing to give up their pregnancies under the guise of empathy. It lends itself to the more stark and grim idea of population control.

This may be old news to some of you, but a heavy documentary about this was released 2 years ago called MAAFA 21. It centers around the Eugenics movement and how it targeted African-Americans and Blacks globally  in attempts to stifle the rise and initially, the continuation of the race. There are excerpts from historical documents and newsletters, the origins of Planned Parenthood and it’s agenda are unearthed, and there’s even a connection between genocide and Charles Darwin‘s theories.

If you have never seen this film, I suggest you look for it and watch it and come to your own conclusions. It definitely has a slant, but is backed by so much empirical evidence, that room for falsehood is little. I don’t know how long this link will exist, but I watched it in 3 parts on a Chinese site here

If not, the official site is

Black Women Really DO Rock!!

Between the two polarized platforms showcasing Black-Woman-Strength that we’ve been hit with this month in the forms of the Televised Black Girls Rock Awards and Tyler Perry‘s Film adaptation of For Colored Girls…There lies much room for Epiphany.

I recently had one in light of these two events- because make no mistake, they are just that; EVENTS…regardless of them just being programs and movies.

Herein lies an unprecedented season for the world at large to see the dynamism of Black women from two unprecedented places and from totally different angles, if not opposing. The praise that Beverly Bond‘s Charity project turned ceremonious mantra and gala had received after airing on November 7th was almost unanimous. The professionalism and flow of it was unseen for an African -American award show – let alone one on BET. And although last year’s Precious had everyone talking, I think just the sheer quantity of talent and beauty and power presented by the stars of this month’s For Colored Girls makes it a film event like nothing before it. The fact that it was helmed by the most powerful, yet acclaimed and reviled Black man in hollywood just adds that much more depth to it.

Those things aside, what I think we can take from the two most importantly (and I say “we” meaning primarily those of us who are NOT Black women) is that the reason why they have made so much of an impact and garnered so much attention and chatter is because there is not enough of a sense of recognition that goes on in real life day -to-day.

On one side of things you have this incredible story that tells the tales of some of the most gruesome, dark, tragic instances of female vulnerability, angst and failure that perhaps can be universal but resonate so much more with women of color because of the setting. On the other, you have this glorious non-pretentious, effortless and ego-less show of solidarity in the form of an award show that finds female African -American entrepreneurs being lauded in the same breath as entertainers in a spectrum that ranged from adolescents to septegenarians. Yet somehow, both were mediums to exhibit the amazing resilience Black women possess.

The recognition of this, however, seems to get lost in the endless real-life shuffle that ensues between Black women and the rest of the world…Particularly with their Black Male counterparts. It seems that that very word gets broken into a compound one, and the focus is always more on the counter than the parts. Perhaps if we spent more time thinking about how we are parts of a whole whether it be a man-woman composite or Black whole, or just a HUMAN emotional whole, we would learn alot more and respect ourselves and our roles as 1 half of the other.

This was my realization…Or at least the reinforcement of one that I had a while ago.

I turned from the award show feeling proud and invigorated. I left the movie feeling an overwhelming urge to never cause hurt to another Black woman or see any Black woman who I know get hurt.  I wanted to start my own version of an award show that promotes and celebrates Black men making strides. I wanted to rally every Black male I knew, in a call to step up their efforts to let their Black Women know how much they are appreciated. This is what I wanted to do…In my mind…

I feel it’s probably a simpler start to express it in this blog post.

For all of that strength. All of that undeniable ability and power. All of the passion, the myths the fallacies and the bark and the bite…at the end of the day, they are still very much still women. There’s an emotional nature buried under however many layers each individual Black female comes with or has built up. There’s a core that is similar to them all and a fragility that’s not hard to find. The history of Black women in America particularly is a torrid one; full of road blocks, let downs, adjustments and evolution. Black men have done alot to offset and augment the identity of Black women over the last 80 years or so. There’s been a void caused by lack of responsibility mostly, and now what is ever-so-prominent is this constant invisible power struggle between the 2 genders. As the gap widens between education and economic status, and Black men find new ways of letting their women down, the outcome is smarter, more self-sufficient women, who are more guarded and less appreciated.

I hope this award show and this movie has the same effect on other men as it has on me. I hope its the catalyst to spark conversation as it has been so far, and pushes further convo into action that makes us want to see happier, gentler, successful, enterprising Black Women who are NOT looking at relationships as one big Waiting to Exhale scenario. I just wish men, of every color – but especially Black, from this point on will make a better effort to start to undo some of that damage that’s been done by saying the kindest thing you can to the next Black woman you see. I hope you open the door for her. Tell her she looks great without trying to holler at her. Tell her what an outstanding mother she is. Advise her if you see her going into a pitfall instead of saying “I don’t save them”. See your daughters when you see them. Commend her for an accomplishment. Support a dream of hers. Think before you have that one night with another chic behind her back. Call your Grandmother or your Aunt (I say that because I just called mine). Teach her a new skill without being domineering. It sounds idealist. It also sounds lofty and preachy and you’re probably wondering how hypocritical this is for me and when’s the last time I did all of these things.

I know it’s easier said than done. Black women make it extremely difficult to be nice to them sometimes. But once you understand and accept that a large reason behind them being that way is from mistakes that we and our fathers and their fathers before them may have made, then you realize how cyclical it is. It really isn’t about being perfect. Nor is it about the quantity of these random acts of kindness as it is the quality. Healing is a slow process. And no matter how solid the average Black Woman believes herself to be, the sum of our parts is much greater than any fraction of it. True enough, their fractional strength is enough to run the world, but wouldn’t having the world run for you be even better? It only takes one step at a time. I’ve seen each and every and one too many of those somber scenarios from For Colored Girls play out in my life growing up around Black women to want to bear witness to another that I could have aided in avoiding in someway. Even if it was with a smile.

Profundity comes from the damnest of places, and Raven Symone of all people left the Black Girls Rock awards stage after accepting her award prompting Black men to do a better job of respecting our women in a way that only a Black girl could. It’s our turn. The power is yours homie.

Single Black Chics – Are you being Attacked??

My Ex’s must’ve really been in their thinking man poses on Monday because they both managed to cross my paths with some thought provoking shit. The 2 youngn’s were gettin a tad deep in their own rights out there and pondering the stats of worldly concerns.

While Ex number 1 was sending me Newsweek links about the damaging and erasing effects of global warming, chock with 100 beautiful photographs, Ex number 2 was posting figures on Facebook about the plight of Black Women (which would be all one/half of her) and their quest to find equally suited/matched Black men and how she may have to settle.

Well, in the little compilation of comments and commentary that followed, one of her Facebook friends attached this link to a feminist slanted blog where a guest writer had taken the time to share her frustration with what she calls an “attack” on the single Black woman in America. The Guest Writer’s name being Diane Lucas. Here’s that post’s-obsession-with-unmarried-black-women/

You can guess from the onset that I was going to disagree with alot of  what this post had to say, just because it’s esteeming itself as coming from a feminist angle, on a self proclaimed feminist blog. And you know how I feel about feminists.

Ms. Lucas sounds like a highly intelligent person who is still warping her logic around an emotional base, as most feminists do. She’s saying the same old defensive rebuttals that have been heard before by Black women. Instead of addressing the issue itself, her approach is to offset the notion and diffuse it by declaring it a non-issue and berating those who have dared to identify it as such. It’s an inverse mechanism of embracing and endearment that a Black woman at this point of hearing and having the same conversation would naturally take on, as all scrutinized peoples have done at some place in time or another…‘why should I think something’s wrong with me??’ ‘It’s not me – it’s You! I’m fine the way Iam. There is no problem, society is the problem!’

Sound familiar? We’ve heard this before, countless times. Fat people do it everyday. Doesn’t change the fact that they are fat.

Self-love is not the issue here. We’re talking cold hard facts and figures here. That’s how this whole topic of conversation began. Getting into the blame game or the psychological ramifications makes things especially cloudy. Let’s deal with the fact that the issue exists. No one is telling Black women to shame themselves for being independent, successful or Black.

See, this is a trouble zone. And this is where things get murky because anytime you venture near the territory of saying anything less than flattering about Black women as an enclave or group of people, you risk being metaphorically castrated, tarred and feathered and chased with pitchforks and torches by a mass of females. The most unfortunate part of all of this tho, is that a good majority of the time, the women who respond and react with the most vigor, are those who have not heard or read the comments or articles themselves, or in their entirety.

Slim Thug could attest to this perfectly in light of the drama that he’s just gotten himself into recently by making comments urging Black Women to be less expectant, more supportive and comparing them to their Anglo-Saxon Counterparts. You can peaceably debate, even express your likes and dislikes, but pick your battles.

What we’re dealing with here is layers and layers of strategic, post-slavery division put in place to keep African-Americans at a socio-economic disadvantage. True enough, nobody wants to hear the same old “The Man” diatribe, but looking at what we have in front of us everyday in the face of the basic Black family infrastructure, it’s painfully obvious that the effects are still hauntingly blatant and very much so long-lasting.

How many movies? How many Essence articles and Beauty Shop conversations? This is Ms. Lucas’ main gripe; she’s asking why is this such a prominent topic?? She’s particularly perturbed and confused with all of the seemingly sudden coverage by non-Black media outlets. But her phrasing here is a bit extreme. She chooses to frame the topic as a skewed concentration or passive assault on her and her kind. She even goes so far as to suggest that it may be some mild form of conspiracy in the post-Obama election era to discourage Black women from hoping to attain that sort of Michelle and Barack union that is publicly perceived as harmonious and ideal.

Perhaps the fact that this topic is making headlines on primetime national news forums and publications is more of an aid than a detriment. Maybe this takes it beyond the sister-girl chats and Tyler Perry movie monologues and Terri Mc Millan books and makes it a legitimate conversation that the rest of the world can have some insight into. Instead of thinking of Black women as a spectacle or specimen, maybe this just reflects them in the light of all women and connects them more so to show that across color lines, this is the challenge faced by most upwardly mobile females in their single lives. Lord knows those Sex & The City broads look like a bunch of glorified tramps, but chics eat that up. What makes the Black situation different tho, is that for a Black woman to be accompanied in her romantic life by a Black man as a partner, the odds seem stacked against her…literally.

Why our Ms. Lucas would be tired of hearing this fact is beyond me. Ignoring won’t help it. Sure, there’s way too many articles out there that make mention of the number of incarcerated Black men, and many of them depict jails, like prisons are just this tireless beast that sustains it’s diet by seeking and chewing up innocent young Black males. They also too often tend to  make Black men seem overly victimized by the system. There is not too much argument that the Black man is the most down-beaten and broken group of Men in the world. The African-American male in particular has the worst rates of everything and is often looked down upon by Blacks of other nations. This doesn’t excuse the poor mishandling of our responsibilities as being men first in the last 5 decades. I personally think Black men have transformed our once nurturing, more docile and ride- or-die female population into it’s current incarnation through a vicious cycle of temptation and abandonment dating back to Post -Vietnam era recklessness and confusion. Alot of this has to do with how our concepts and definitions of manhood have been augmented and re-defined over time, by others, and ourselves most importantly. Prison time just doesn’t occur. We can argue that disproportionate sentences and streamlined laws have been designed to punish minorities at larger numbers than others, but there is no debating that crime gets you in jail in the first place. Niggas really just need to stop doing fucking crime!! Isn’t it a little played out the whole ‘I didn’t have no other choice‘ routine? Really??

Still and all, the fact remains…these numbers are these numbers. The number of Black Men in jail IS alarmingly high, Black Women DO outnumber Black Men, and there is an increasing divide between education levels between Black Women and men. This doesn’t excuse the men, but if the original issue is that Black women face quite the hurdle of trying to find their match within their race as they achieve continual financial and educational success, why and how does any amount of media coverage of this make it any less of a real dilemma?

What Black Women choose to do in the face of this attention is where more focus needs to be put. Do you aid in shaping your men up?? Or are you just sick and tired of that because you’ve done that already? Do you feed into this invisible power struggle that has increasingly torn Black men and women apart for half a century now? Or do you reverse the pull by emotional healing? Or do you do What Ms. Lucas has apparently done, and told yourself that you’re fine by yourself? That you should re-focus your energy off of partnership and companionship and pat yourself on the back for all of the other successful areas of your life? Do you do what Regina King and Chilli have advocated and date outside of your race? Or do you accept the present depressed state of things and settle because the pickings are slim if you want to stay within your own race?

What a conundrum indeed…

So in the wake of what is the anniversary of the break-up between me and the very Ex who’s Facebook post layed the fertile soil for this whole fuss, I ask…

Is today’s Single Black Women being attacked?? Or just worried about?

CotDammit John Mayer….

I won’t post the interview or it’s excerpts up, because by now, you’ll be able to catch the most “inflammatory” parts all over the web.

I will, however

show you the source where you can read the interview in it’s entirety.

Now I am a John Mayer fan.

But I have also heard the infamous tales of him being a Grade A asshole in real life. This sentiment was recently reiterated by the homegirls Seshie and Morgan, who also follow him on twitter.

I also have picked up on his penchant for overt sarcasm and colorful commentary over the past few years. So I’m not sure exactly how “inflammatory” these “inflammatory” comments are…

It could just fall in line with every other off-brand statement he’s made to the press.

In this interview, he ruffles plenty of feathers, including Jessica Simpson’s (but wait! feathers?.. Is she chicken?or Fish?), but I wonder, is this just another case of Black people being too sensitive for all of the wrong reasons? I’m just waiting for Al Sharpton to pop out somewhere tomorrow, seeing as to how he only comes out for these menial situations.

If we’ve paid attention to Mayer’s M.O. by now, why would we be surprised by anything outlandish that he says? Obviously, if you look at what he’s saying in full, he’s very aware of his perception and the perception of him. He’s also very aware of what he’s saying. Now the real question here, was did he not anticipate the feeble-mindedness of the average reader – or the domino effect that controversial hearsay would have upon feedback from this interview? Did he even realize that this interview would reach the public so widely? Like, did he not realize that this was an interview in PLAYBOY fuckin magazine??! America’s Guilty pleasure? Or did he just assume that of course, only intellectual people actually READ the articles in Playboy as opposed to just staring at the landing strips on the centerfolds, and therefore, anyone with that level of logical reasoning wouldn’t take his remarks out of context nor take offense to them?

The even bigger question is, Did he really even give a fuck??! And does he have to?

We accept crazy talk from personalities that we deem as brash and extreme, but when it comes from our tamer idols, we get up in arms. Nelly can testify to this. Luke can have girls on video eating each other out, and then make a song about it, but don’t let it be the guy who made “Dillema”. Andrew Dice Clay can be as coarse as can be, but if it’s our favorite emo-guitar guy that the rappers like….it’s OVER.

Well maybe John wants to be like those guys who get away with that shit. Maybe he looks like he’s in league with Michael Buble, but he feels more like O.D.B. inside. And I’m not condoning any of this, I’m just trying to put it in another perspective of understanding. Maybe he just didn’t give a fuck! He just wanted to tell you how much Jessica Simpson is a hot piece of ass, how Black women don’t do it for him, and how much he acknowledges that he has a “hood pass”, but not an official hood pass because he still can’t get away with saying stuff like the word Nigger. And just to test the waters, he’s going to use the word Nigger just to show you how much that hood pass doesn’t really exist after all.

And you all just proved him right because I’m sure plenty of you will refuse to support him any longer and snatch that pass right back!

I for one, Love when people are this honest because they tell you who they really are. At least you know where he stands.  It’s what keeps you hanging off of every word in a 50 Cent interview. Or the latest Kanye Rant. For an artist of John’s stature, this interview is a publicists’ nightmare. But for an artist of John’s stature, maybe it’s kind of dope that he broke the rules.

True, he should know better. he’s a smart dude. But the only place he fucked up was by actually using the full out N word and not using softer language to get his points across. I’ve come to the conclusion that every White person in the world has or will say Nigger at least once in their lives…if for no other reason than just to see how it feels to say it. You try being told that there’s one word in your entire lifetime that you’re never allowed to say…see where the Pandora’s Box of your mind takes you!

I personally am more offended by the white folk who use it casually and think nothing of it because some Black people in their lives have allowed them to continually repeat it.

But in this case, he’s being very cognizant of the African-American demographic, and if anything, he’s admitting to a character flaw within himself. He’s telling you that he would like to, but up until this point in his life, hasn’t found himself sexually attracted to Black women. Honest enough. Would I be a reverse racist when I state that Iam not sexually attracted to White women? Because Iam not, on average.

I’m like him in a way…..

due to the fact that I love women to the extreme that I do, I do find the beauty in all sexy women of all shades and races, But I know my first preference always has and always will be Black women!

I try to tell people all the time, that the biggest part of attraction is psychological. Alot is based on what we’re exposed to and how we’ve taken in ideas of beauty throughout the courses of our lives. Once we accept that, we’ll realize that there’s not some magic key that we’re born with that tells us who to date and mate with.

But nevermind all of that, let me end this post with the apology…

cause that’s what you want anyway isn’t it?

“using the ‘N word’ in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it’s such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged.

And while I’m using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it’s time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews… It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it.

Again, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.”

I do want to give John his props tho, for shouting out Kerry Washington (I agree, she seems to have white girl swag where it counts), and for even KNOWING who Holly Robinson-Peete is! Not too many Black guys remember or acknowledge her, let alone some random whiteboy. Maybe he watched alot of 21 Jumpstreet reruns back in the day. She was and still is pretty damn hot! And her charity involvements rock!

And to close it out, why not leave you crazy kids with an Apropo ditty?

Crush Alot: Naturi-Us! (Please)

Okay, so I might just be late on this cause admittedly, I just saw NOTORIOUS for the first time last night.

And for all of it’s Hollywood crappiness, the shining moment for me was 20 minutes in, getting the shock of my life seeing a full out sex scene with shorty from 3LW.

Like…… I remember us joking in High School that the only one who could get it was Adrienne.

That’s surely not the case anymore! These pictures explain it all.

I don’t know what rock I’ve been sleeping under or how I missed this, or further more, I don’t know why every man on the Planet is not Fuckin in Love with Black Women the way I am (And no, not because of naked stills from movie scenes, but because Black women are Just damn Amazing in General! – Phat asses are just a plus thank you very much)

So I’m saying Hello ms. Naughton (I like the first 6 letters of your last name by the way),

YOU are officially My NEW Crush.