Sex & The Chocolate City – Entry #14

The Secret Relationship Killer Series

So I hope you’ve all had a chance to read the introduction to this Secret Relationship Killers series. We started with number 5: Bad Breath & Body Odor. Now we move on to number four: your best friend.

We all have a best friend. That one solid person you can go to, rely on no matter what. That person has probably been through thick and thin with you through heart breaks and fist fights. So it’s only natural that your friend would be someone else biggest obstacle. Your best friend in an impenetrable force that keeps you from doing something stupid. True, not all friends have the best intentions or are always right. Some friends can be jaded or unbeknownst to them jealous of what you may or may not have, otherwise known as haters. But it’s not their fault, completely. Friends honestly believe they have your best interest at heart.

When you have a best friend, they’re there for life. Any person that comes in after that, i.e a man, is free to leave when they want. Hence, ladies, if your man has a serious problem with your best friend, he has every right not to feel it necessary to deal with it, which could mean not dealing with you at all. So, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. You either give up your man or give up your best friend. So what do you do? Let him go. You can break up with a boy, but you can’t break up with a friend. You can divorce a husband, but you can’t divorce your friend. Sure, every situation is different. Sometimes your friend is dead ass wrong.  But your friends are your rear view mirrors, there suppose to watch your back no matter what, enabling them to see the flaws in a man that you don’t. So if there is no way your friend and your man can find some way to get along for the sake of your relationship, then for the sake of your sanity, let him go. But, first, have a LONG discussion with that relationship killer. Make sure the reasons behind her dislike are valid or at least logical. If not, lay down ground rules as far as your happiness is concerned and pray to death your man loves you enough to put up with the evil eye.

Life without love sucks, but life with out friends is impossible.

Tune in next week for Secret Relationship Killer Number 3: Money

TDJ

Sex & The Chocolate City – Entry #13

The Secret Relationship Killer Series

9 times out of 10 I’m my own worst enemy when it come to relationships. Between the insecurities, pressure, and unwillingness to see situations for what they truly are, I find myself in compromising positions that, inevitably, end. But, in my defense, some of the problems I’ve faced I’ve found over time, weren’t truly my fault. Some problems are like hidden diseases, unseen at first by the naked eye, but after careful diagnosis, the problem is generally concluded to be deadly.

So in light of this wonderfully lighthearted news, I present the top five Relationship Killers Series.

#5

Bad Breath & Body Odor

We’re all animals on this planet. We use our senses to get around in this world just like any other creature. The sense of smell, is probably the most valuable sense next to sight when it comes to dating. Smell plays a huge roll in sexual attraction to one another other, it’s in our genetic make up.

Fellas, when you see a girl across the room, you’re generally attracted to the sight of her. So what’s the second sense you’d probably encounter before you hear her voice, touch her arm, or taste her lips (I’m just praying you don’t go around kissing random strangers)?

And what happens when you find the perfect girl and she smells like cat poop? Of course your first reaction is to say “forget it, if she stank, I don’t want her!” But what if that girl was Janet Jackson, Beyonce, or Halle Berry? You’d be an idiot to not at least try to date her, right? So you forge ahead, halitosis be damn. But how far could the relationship go if every time you think about her, you remember her breath burning off your eyebrows. You can never cuddle with her in the morning, or, well, ever. You can never work out together since you may pass out from the fumes. You’d be bitter after spending all your hard earn money on specialized gum, mouthwash, perfumes, and body scrubs that only bandaids an internal problem.

What do you do when you find the perfect girl, all expect for that ONE thing? There’s nothing you can do, it’s a Relationship killer. Our pheromones were designed for a specific mate and it’s been scientifically proven that love screws our senses, making everything seem to smell like roses. Janet may stink to you but may smell great to Jermaine. So if you meet a girl and after several tries, your nose still is trying to jump off your face, let it go. Some folks would say how shallow of you to give up on the possibility of love based on such superficial traits. But those folks won’t have to deal with that funk for the rest of their lives like you would.

Tune in next week for Secret Relationship Killer Number 4: Your Best Friend

TDJ