The REAL Malik Speaks on “The Game” via premiere party

There I was.

Our former columnist and favorite renaissance woman, TDJ brought me out with her when she was in my neck of the woods. The event was a viewing party for the premiere of the wildly popular dramedy, The Game on the BET network. What else could bring a bunch of New York transplants out in the beginning of what was poised to be the next snow storm of 2011 so far??

Not only was the venue the newly opened competition to my day job, but I found myself amongst a bunch of the so-called taste-makers and socialites of the new urban professional scene. Most ironically, I found myself exchanging light conversation with one of the very people who appear crossed out in the banner at the top of my blog, from the cast of the short-lived BET reality series, Harlem Heights (a show full of a cast consisting of only 1 true Harlemite – hence them being crossed out in my banner).

This type of scene, which usually makes me throw up in my mouth a little, was refreshingly cool and calm. I don’t know if rolling with TDJ has some kind of magic or something, but the last few events that I’ve been to with her have all had a down to Earth vibe to them with folks who would otherwise be pretentious or uppity, being very warm and friendly. It didn’t hurt that I was practically surrounded by women and I got to chill with one of my favorite writers, The Jaded New Yorker. There were a few random dudes threatening to steal my mojo, but here in particular, everyone came for a common accord, to watch The Game on multiple flat screens at the same time and share unified reactions and responses to the newness of things.

Even the guys paid attention. I’m assuming that since it was a taste-maker event full of the “Harlem Elite”, that these random dudes are writers or in the entertainment business somehow…I don’t know…I don’t concern myself with what men do on average. But the unison in the room was felt every time the commercial break was over and the show came back on as ‘shushes’ spread across the floor prompting everyone to be quiet and focus. And focus we did…

Our hostess for the evening, the vivacious Eb the Celeb captured footage and conducted interviews throughout the night and put it together in this clip. You can get a feel for what I was feeling here…

Oh yeah, and I guess the show wasn’t bad either. Just really don’t like when dudes have my name. There’s never been a cool guy named Malik on television. I HATE this character! Glad he gets all the flyest girls on the show tho…That ain’t too far from the truth!

BITCH Calls TDJ out by name!!

You guys should know by now…I’m always bigging up my homegirl and former founding contributor to this site, the infamous TDJ.

One of the many facets of the multi-facted Ms. Jackson is her expertise as an accompolished videographer, producer, screenplay writer and director – which I guess is technically more than one if you break it down.

This time last year, as both a Grad-school project (Yeah, she’s a student as well) and one of her own, she filmed the short, entitled The Field Trip, which she entered into numerous film festivals in the 2010 season and garnered much acclaim. And the acclaim keeps rolling in as this has gotten her recognition in BITCH magazine’s write-up this month on females in the horror genre. Check it out here

Now, if you’ve been reading, then you know how I feel about feminists, feminism and pseudo feminists and pseudo feminism – and BITCH is a Feminist mag. However, the more amazing women I have and come across in my life, the more I see they may pop up in this publication, so I may just have to keep a close eye on a BITCH every now and then…

16’s Candles shouts out TDJ and wishes her much more future recognition for her many hustles and talents as she never stops grinding. Neither do we…

Speaking of TDJ; New web series coming soon “So I Married A Vampire…”

As part of being on her ever consistent grind, The Notorious T.D.J. is about to bless the internet with a new web series encompassing 2 of her favorite forms of film entertainment. Fresh off her stint at the Martha’s Vineyard African-American Film festival, here’s a trailer from her latest project titled, So I married A Vampire... Starring Ms. Daryl, who by the way used to do some gr8 promo for this very blog back in the beginning.

On the site, the series is described as

“A mockumentary on the optimistic wife of a maladjusted vampire. The Office meets True Blood.

This web series depicts the everyday life  of Stephanie, the perky, optimistic human wife of an inept bumbling vampire, Armand. As Stephanie answers questions on her everyday life and how she deals with their far from normal relationship, her true feelings on her relationship start to show. The camera witnesses some of their quirky moments.”

Watch for yourselves, and get ready

Top 10 Reasons Why TDJ is a Thug!!

Our former Columnist from the Burbs, Breaks down the makings of her Gangster. And why you shouldn’t test it…

This, you just have to read…

TDJ Blows!!…up that is – Check out her new blog! *CONGRATS*


they grow up so fast…

It seems like just yesterday, our renaissance woman was gracing our tuesdays with date tips and first-hand forewarnings. Or least it feels like 4 months ago

Well, now our very own Bunny has flown the coup, or hopped along to greener pastures at

Iam so proud of TDJ. She has tried this before, with a blog named after herself (not quite sure what happened there, but I’ll get to the bottom of it) She didn’t think she had the patience or time management to pull it off, but she always kinda knew she did. She grew tired of being a relationship/dating advice giver and wanted to flex her writing muscle a bit more. She has officially retired from guest blogging here, and with that, Sex & The Chocolate City is officially done. There is no that without her.

So this is the ultimate farewell and welcome to the old and the new. ‘Grand opening, grand closing, Gotdamn your girl T cracked the can open again!’

Check out her many writing and film endeavors, including the goings on with her writing group, and her movie that she wrote, produced and directed; The Field Trip.

Now that I think of it, maybe I should squeeze this picture of her in the header next to the other chics blowing out candles…hmmnn. Or at least next to the big booties…hmmnnn. Apropro?

Click on the pic to visit.

TDJ’s Dad saves the Day! PT. 2 – The Interview

Okay, ok…

I jacked this from, which is one of several places that have been stealing our leading Lady, TDJ, away from this blog and making your favorite section, Sex & The Chocolate City, virtually extinct! But I did figure that this would be the perfect follow-up to my last post about her dad being the clever New Yorker who discovered the now infamous failed Car bomb in Times Square and became a hero for alerting the authorities. Besides, she’s our own. In this article, she not only interviews her father herself, but she shares her own thoughts on the happenings. Here’s her take in her own words…

My Dad has been working under the Planters Peanut sign on 45th and Broadway for more than a decade. He’s my official landmark whenever I’m in the city. I practically grew up in Times Square with him. I’ll never forget the day he came home talking about some man playing a guitar in his underwear and a cowboy hat. He was barely fazed by it. People know him as the “Mayor.” The other vendors, from the t-shirt guys to the caricature artists to the hot dog stand owners, know me as his daughter.

Dad rarely overreacts about anything and it drives my family insane. No matter the situation, he seems to always stay amazingly poised and relaxed during the most dire of circumstances; whether it’s rushing a child to the emergency room or an ash cloud barreling toward him on 9/11. He’s always said, “If you see everyone running in one direction, just stand still. Observe, think, then react.” This advice has saved me on many occasions. So, I wasn’t surprised by his reaction to the potential car bomb, a mere eight feet away from his normal spot.

When I saw the pictures of the truck and the explosives inside it, the only thought that crossed my mind was “Wow, I could have lost him.” The explosion would have been unavoidable. Losing him would’ve crushed me.

I know everyone now considers him to be a hero along with the other vendors and policemen, but he’s always been my hero. He instilled in me, at a very young age, to be an independent woman and self-reliant. Teaching me how to drive when I was thirteen, how to balance a checkbook, and how to iron a crease that could cut someone if they stood too close. But whenever I need him, he’s there. He’s rescued me on several occasions when my car broke down in the middle of the night, and he’s chased away a few spiders. I realize not many women have had that experience growing up. For that, I am more grateful that I have him in my life.

He, of course, doesn’t see himself as a hero. He considers himself a normal guy. He visits my 101-year-old Grandpa every Tuesday to give him a shave, plays 18 holes of golf, and is the President of the Vietnam Veterans of America chapter. People are now stopping by his stand, buying purses, taking a picture, showing him so much love. Words cannot express how proud I am of him, but then again, that’s nothing new. I’m just glad everyone is catching up to what I’ve known all my life.

DUANE JACKSON: Hey, sweetie.

TIFFANY: You’ve been a New Yorker forever. People generally tend to mind their own business and rarely speak up. You did the opposite. Do you think that your action will encourage more to speak and act? Is this something that should be taught and promoted more?
DUANE: It’s a combination. I saw something that looked suspicious, told a police officer, and fortunately the bomb didn’t go off. Some folks who were there walked by and saw what happened and thought that they could’ve have been hurt if that bomb went off. In the short term, I think there will be more of a sense of awareness, not only in New York but around the country. In the long run, we need to teach and preach the idea of being aware and not taking anything for granted. You should always be aware of your surrounding in a commercial space.

TIFFANY: Do you think your military experience had anything to do with your reaction?
DUANE: Definitely. The military teaches you discipline, how to be cautious, and how to react in certain situations.

TIFFANY: Got any words of advice?
DUANE: I say “If you see something, and feel something, tell someone. And don’t fear having a friendly relationship with the police, fire department, even teachers. Those people are always on guard.”

TIFFANY: Okay, thanks Daddy.
DUANE: You’re welcome, baby girl.

Tiffany Jackson is a Video Producer and Writer living in Brooklyn, NY. Follow her on Twitter @Writeinbk

Read more:

TDJ’s Dad – the man who discovered Times Square Mystery Car Bomb – Saves The Day!!

Dad meeting with Diane Sawyer #timesquare

Yep Kiddies!

Our own estranged resident renaissance woman, TDJ, has a Bonafied HERO for a dad!

While I was out of the Country, the city I call home was all a frenzy.

I was able to catch a glimpse of CNN coverage in my hotel room on the happenings in Times Square surrounding a mysterious Black SUV that was reported to have suspicious contents. These contents included all kinds of explosive and flammable agents and materials seemingly deliberate in their purpose to go off and cause panic in the epicenter of NYC commerce, density and most importantly, recognition.
I felt the same way as I did when 9/11 happened, or the way I felt when the 2003 brown-out/black-out took place. Distant.
I wasn’t fully informed on the threat enough to feel the threat of it.
I also, Like this time, wasn’t in New York or anywhere near it. All I could do was watch and wait for the series of events to play itself out. And I’m still waiting…
Maybe it’s the natural New York skepticism, or inherent lack of surprise that comes with the territory. Or my mistrust of anything deemed “terrorism”.

But this time around, there’s no denying the Craziness or perceived intent behind this. There’s no other way to slice the heaviness of the situation. The news crews won’t be leaving this alone anytime soon, and you can guarantee this means all kinds of increased Big Brother tactics coming our way in T-minus 16 seconds…

What I didn’t know, and what makes this particular story so much more interesting and incredible, is that the man responsible for alerting the authorities just happen to be the father of my close personal homegirl. I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Duane Jackson, a Vietnam Veteran – and husband of one of the coolest moms ever, 2 Christmases ago, and his presence is as warm as he is tall. A true hustler, he’s been an official Vendor on the Busy and bustling streets of Times Squares for years now, so you can rest assured that he’s seen plenty of things in his day. But it’s what he saw this fateful saturday that has him garnering all of the media attention that one man could handle at a dizzying pace. Blame it on him being a stand-up man, or an experienced New Yorker, or a good samaritan, or a combination of all things, but he responded the most sensible way he knew how after noticing the vehicle.

I don’t even know the full story myself, and I’ll be sure to get the firsthand account personally from Mr. Jackson himself next time I see him and pick his brain, because nothing’s more interesting than hearing New York stories from real New Yorkers. What I do know is that after a day full of shaking hands with the President, the Mayor, Diane Sawyer, Gayle King and almost anyone else with a camera, Mr. Jackson will be unforgettable and has earned some rest and quiet time in the City that never sleeps. I know TDJ was there every step of the way today, playing multiple roles as loving daughter (mistaken by a few for his young wife) as well as his make-shift publicist. Her mom and little brother were there too throughout the hectic day of press. Good look for the black families, Jacksons!! I see you!

Don’t know how long this link will last, but just in case you missed it, here’s the Good Morning America clip, co-starring ms. TDJackson herself.
We’ll get on her later about the absence of her column, for now, it’s not her moment. That belongs to the man who no doubt deserves all of the attention and acclaim for being on his P and Q’s, thinking and acting fast and logically. The man who today is a hero.
This one’s for you Mr. Jackson!

No Sex & The Chocolate City

Like I told you before,
whenever you see this image above, you know that means that our esteemed author of

Sex & The Chocolate City missed her deadline.

This is the dunce banner for that.

So on behalf of the 16’s Candles family, please excuse the lateness or albeit absence of

Entry # 17,

TDJ‘s having a moment….

*Special Edition* Sex & The Chocolate City – ENTRY#16!!!

We’re taking a break from the Relationship Killer Series to talk about the number 16.

Frankly, I don’t know why I have to focus on 16, but I just do what I’m told so I don’t get yelled at by someone with the number 16 in their name that will remain nameless. *side eye*

Anyways, here’s 16 tips that ladies should do TONIGHT!

1) Bondage is always a win- Use a satin scarf and tie it tight. For go handcuff, they’ll only be a oh so familiar reminder of being in the backseat of a cop car. Even with the fur trim.

2) Stripper Basics 101- Use chair with no handles. It’ll be easier to straddle him.

3) Food Glorious Food-Sex on a full stomach is great! Cook up something spicy. On second thought, gas is never sexy. Stick to what you know.

4) New Pantie Draws- Even if he never sees it, you always instantly feel confident when you were something cute, sexy and most importantly NEW.

5) Pull a ‘Nia Long’- Like in Love Jones, remember, just walk through the door, without one work, and start unbuckling. He’s get the picture.

6) Bubble baths- it’s cliche, I know, but it never fails!

7) Mirror Mirror on the…floor-Take down that ikea full length mirror and turn it side ways. Bare floor and no sheets will help you see all the action

8) Read a book- I don’t mean Harry Potter, I mean a naughty book. Zane is always a winner in this department. Make sure you read it from across the room. No touching until the story is done.

9) Leave you heels on-This is tricky, so make sure they’re the right type of heels. Not too pointy, or you can seriously hurt him, or worst, yourself.

10) Play a game-Competition and challenge is the best form of foreplay

11) Tanning Oil- It’s cheap, it smells good, and most of all it reminds you of the summer. Heat some in a bowl for 15 secs.

12) Good Head/Dental Dam- for a more pleasurable oral experience, invest in these products.

13) Move of the day- check out sites like for the sex move of the day and try it. Be smooth about it, or at least try to be. They even have an app for your iPhone!

14) Porn Showcase- Face it, he has porn. Let go of your disgust and watch it with him. You may learn a few things.

15) Hide and go freak-Don’t be too hard to find yet don’t hide in the most obvious place either.

16) Scream, well, anything-Sometimes girls are really quiet during sex. If you let out a out-of-nowhere-gut-wrenching-yet-pleasurable scream, it’ll definitely excite him.


Happy 16th!!!

This is one of those rare occasions where I get to do something special!

Now, I may not be the MOST consistent blogger out there, but if there’s one part of this site that you can rely on to keep it afloat, that’s the vainglorious segment that we like to call Sex & The Chocolate City, brought to you by our resident renaissance woman, MISS TDJ!

It’s supposed to be a tuesday thing, but sometimes it just misses it’s mark. You can all thank TDJ for that. But I digress…

Being that this is the commemorative 16TH ENTRY, and today is the 16TH,

I just thought it’d be nice to give you a little bit more than the usual. Wht that entailed, I left strictly up to the T herslef, but why she chose to turn it into a FREAK blog, only she can tell you! I think you’ll enjoy it. It’s about SEX. The column is titled Sex & The Chocolate City. So it’s bound to be tempting and intriguing if not somewhat educational.

Anything else would be a shame to my namesake. This is 16’s Candles after all…

Read safely. Happy 16TH!