Sex & The Chocolate City – Entry #11

Young Cougars

I am twenty-seven and a half years old but on some days, I look like I’m no older than nineteen. (I’m not tooting my own horn here, this is the truth.) Looking this young, isn’t always a good thing when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Some men will steer clear of me, worried about being the next R. Kelly, leaving only the young bucks left to holla at me. When I say young, I mean twenty-two and below. As far as maturity is concerned, that’s light years away from my age. It’s also down right embarrassing when high school boys try to get my number on the train then look shellshock when I tell them my age.

About a week ago, this guy, age twenty-one, asked me for my number. He was adorable, sweet, funny, and seemed rather mature for someone who was still in college. I kept asking myself “What am I doing” considering his age, but he was pretty persistent, I was flattered. And afterwards, all I could do is laugh at my over thinking of such a small event. It’s not like I’m Stella looking to get my groove back but we’re not even in the same demographic. There are twenty-five and older parties he wouldn’t be able to attend. He wouldn’t even be able to rent a car!

I’ve toyed around with the idea of dating a younger man before. But even dating guys that are only two years younger than me have been disastrous. I’ve seen some of my friends do it with relatively good results. Some only want younger boys men, so they can “train” them at an early age to be what they want them to be. I call them young cougars in training.

My girlfriend met a young buck at a party. He was twenty-three, she was twenty-eight.

He called and text no less than four times a day (mind you he didn’t have a job, so he had nothing else better to do). He would show up at her house uninvited on numerous occasions and tried to commandeer all of her time. Now I know what you’re thinking, so what, any guy of any age could do that. But my friend was a successful professional with her own car and condo. This particular dude wanted her to wear his class ring even though they only knew each other for three weeks and still live at home with his Momma, who did his laundry and made him lunch everyday.

As for me, I just don’t think I can do it. Men around that age have so much growing up to do. I’ve had to deal with growing with men, accompanied by heartbreak and utter confusion for the last decade of my dating life. Why would I put myself through the ringer again?  When you’re in your early twenties, you’re so confident, almost cocky, when it comes to what you want because you’re so sure. But honestly, no one really knows what they want or need at that time. There are forty year old women who still don’t have it together.

But, I am almost thirty. I suppose robbing cradles will be in my future soon enough.

TDJ

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